When a relationship is lacking physical interaction, it can be frustrating for most couples. Both men and women may experience a sinking libido, but the truth is, it’s quite common and in fact, natural. When problems do arise due to lack of sexual interest, that’s when you know it’s time to work on your libido.
You may be thinking that you and your partner lost all feelings for each other, but if you follow this guide, you’ll be surprised to see what the outcomes will be. After all, everything can be fixed with a bit of work; so don’t give up just yet.
Signs Your Libido is Low
Everyone has a different sex drive, but if you notice you don’t enjoy your time in bed like you used to, check these signs to indicate whether or not you’re suffering from a low libido:
- Making excuses to avoid sex like, “I’m too tired.”
- Sexual cravings are disappearing or greatly lessening.
- Little lubrication or responses to stimulation.
- Erection problems for males.
- Little to no sexual fantasies or thoughts.
- Being too busy for sex.
What Causes a Sinking Libido?
Sometimes we just go through periods of time where our libido seems to be less active, or even non-existent. Reasons why a libido may be sinking vary from person to person and may be different from men and women. Both physical and psychological problems may be the cause.
Here are some reasons why your libido may be sinking:
- Hormone Imbalance
- Lack of Exercise
- Low Body Image
- Repetition in Bed
- Alcohol or Drug Use
- Physical or Emotional Stress
- Sleep Problems
- Mental Distractions or Disturbances
As you can see, there are many causes for low sexual desire. A huge contributor to a sinking libido is often anxiety or stress, though. No matter what’s causing you to have a low libido, you can find several ways to increase it.
Boost Your Libido: Quick and Easy Tips to Try
Once you have a good idea of what may be causing your lack of sexual desire, there are many different methods and remedies out there that you can turn to. Give at least three to five of these 16 methods a try, and see where it brings you.
1. Try Yoga Stretches to Save Your Libido.
According to the 2013, Effects of Yoga on Sexual Function in Women with Metabolic Syndrome, published in the Journal of Sexual Medicine, women who participated in a 12-week yoga intervention had higher sexual desire and more lubrication as compared to the control group who didn’t.
Most of us are aware that yoga is relaxing and helps us cope with our everyday stresses, but there are several reasons why this form of exercise helps your sexually. Yoga also increases your flexibility, boosts your self-esteem, helps you maintain a body positive image, and in turn, helps increase your libido.There are also specific yoga positions out there that increase your libido.
If you feel physically good about yourself, it also allows you to feel confident in bed with your partner. If you are feeling bad about your body, though, it can be difficult to get into the mood. Just remember, feeling self-conscious has a huge impact on everything you do in life and distracts you from the things you love to do.
Confidence is the key.
2. Eat Healthy Fats For a Healthy Libido.
You may be surprised to find out that when you eat a lot of healthy fats, it actually helps to increase levels of testosterone. Testosterone is a huge factor that indicates your level of arousal. The more testosterone you have, the higher libido you may encounter.
This one isn’t just for men, though, it also helps women, as well. Eat things such as avocados, healthy oils, nuts and seeds, eggs, and seafood, as all these food items contribute to a healthy boost in libido and increase optimal blood flow.
Don’t believe it? Read on.
Almonds,which are full of healthy fats, contain many vitamins and minerals, such as zinc and selenium that play important roles when it comes to our sex lives and reproduction. It’s been said that zinc is effective for increasing male hormones, while selenium can help with infertility issues.
3. Don’t Skip Out on Date Night to Keep Feelings of Desire Strong.
Especially for married couples with kids, you may resort to sticking to the same old dates. Maybe you don’t even go on dates anymore now that you’ve been together for several years. Going out on dates, though, may increase your level of arousal.
We’re not just talking about snuggling up in pajamas on the couch watching The Wheel of Fortune; we’re talking actually leaving the house and making the date worthwhile. In general, it’s important to keep your bond with your partner firm. If things get old relationship wise, so will sex.
That’s why it’s important to keep things exciting and different in a relationship. Rather than settling on your favorite restaurant for dinner that night, strive for something different instead. Always switch things up and find new, exciting things to plan for date night with your partner.
4. Try Different Things in Bed to Revive Your Sex Life.
When you resort to the same methods of foreplay and stick to the same old positions, it may get boring after a while. When you’re bored with your sex life, it highly contributes to how high or low your libido is. That’s why trying new things is always a great option.
Most couples tend to stick to one or two different positions when in bed, but remember that it’s okay to be adventurous and go out of your comfort zone. In fact, you may enjoy it. Trying different sex positions is one of the best ways to boost your level of arousal and simply experience something exciting and new.
If you find yourself still unaroused after trying different things in bed, at that point you know that perhaps there’s something much more than a boring sex life that’s holding you back. It may be something completely unrelated to the actual act of sex itself, or even your partner.
5. Make Sure Your Medications Aren’t Stealing Your Sex Drive.
We all know prescriptions can have a huge impact on us in a variety of different ways, but did you know that medications could alter our sex drives? It’s true; our medications may change our libido drastically.
Many anxiety and depression medications can contribute to a lower libido. It’s believed that certain birth control pills could even be the cause, and it’s recommended that you switch to a different pill if you find it to be the culprit.
If you’re on medication, be sure you know which specific medications may be affecting your mood. Speak to a doctor if you feel that your current medication is changing your level of libido, and perhaps consider switching to another medication if it ends up being a huge problem for you and your partner.
6. Keep Your Stress and Anxiety Levels Down to Bring Your Libido Up.
There’s nothing more distracting in bed than having negative, repetitive thoughts. If you had a bad day at work, or simply had a long and stressful day, the last thing on your mind may be sex. That’s why it’s vital that you try as best as possible to reduce your levels of stress and anxiety.
If you believe stress or anxiety is the cause of your low libido, there are several ways to fix this. This may mean you’ll need to make a simple change in your schedule or make a more drastic change within your lifestyle. Even workaholics need a break sometimes.
If you can’t seem to clear your schedule to find time to relax from a day of stress, other great ways to relax include drinking herbal tea, reading before bed, taking a short nap during the day, and even taking a trip to the spa. The less stress you have in your life, the better time you’ll have in bed with your partner, and of course, you’ll have a better sex drive.
7. Add Romance to Your Bedroom to Spice Things Up.
Whether you’re male or female, adding romance to the bedroom plays a huge role with your libido, believe it or not. A few lit candles, a good-smelling aroma, a dimly lightened room, music, and maybe even flower petals if you’re a true romantic, are all great ways to help both you and your partner get into the mood.
If these things don’t really appeal to you, there are other ways to add romance to the bedroom, whether you or your partner wear something sexy, or even wear a different perfume or cologne for a change.
The point is, your level of arousal changes with the environment around you. If the environment is casual or even stressful, your libido will be down. If the environment is romantic and sexy, things are a lot different in bed. A simple change or alteration can make all the difference.
8. Take a Look at Your Relationship and Try to Work Things Out First.
A common cause of a low libido is found within your relationship. It’s not necessarily the fact that you’re not physically attracted to your partner anymore, it’s the fact that perhaps something isn’t right within your relationship. By no means does this mean your relationship should end. It just means that holding a strong bond with your partner is important in order to improve your relationship, and in turn, your sex life.
Are you and your partner fighting a lot more lately? This is a huge contribution to your level of sexual desire. Instead of making you feel close and loved by your partner, a lot of bickering and arguing will only cause you to draw away from your partner and possibly cause you to want nothing to do with your partner at the time of the fight.
Even long after the argument, you may feel a sense of resentment or have a bit of anger still lingering towards your partner. The problem here isn’t the fact that you’re fighting; it just means you need better strategies for mending your fights.
Figure out what yours and your partner’s communication styles are, as some styles even clash with one another. Sometimes if you have the same communication style, though, things may also clash, as you won’t be able to talk things out properly. That’s why you and your partner need to make a compromises and change in the way you communicate within arguments.
After all, fighting is natural and healthy in relationships, but only if you and your partner do it with respect and honesty. Once you develop a way to keep your bond strong with your partner through thick and think, your sex life will be much better. Having a positive connection with your partner is key to a higher libido.
9. Explain What You Want to Your Partner For the Best Outcome.
Everyone wants different things in the bedroom. The partner that is most dominant may get what they want more often in bed, whereas the less dominant partner may find themselves not having their sexual needs met. If you happen to be the inferior partner in the relationship, you need to speak out and let your partner know what you want in bed.
Both of you should know what the other wants. You also need to act on it too, though. It’s best to take turns and ensure that both partners’ needs are met and are not being left out.
When one’s needs are ignored, that’s when sex becomes boring for them and even unwanted. Nobody wants to engage in sexual activities that don’t appeal to them and only benefit their partner; they need to experience it too sometimes. The lower level of sexual satisfaction you receive; the lower libido you’ll encounter.
10. Make Time for Sex and Make Time for a Healthy Libido.
If you’re too busy, surely it’ll make it hard to have an adequate sex drive. With kids, work, school, or whatever your busy life contains, you’ll need to try to find a way to make time for the bedroom. It’s okay to say no to other plans or to alter your schedule a bit, as long as you know you’ll have time for it in the near future.
The thing is, if you’re overwhelmed and constantly running errands or doing things around the house, sex will seem like a chore and a waste of time in your busy life. In turn, your libido will be much lower, and sex will not interest you as much as it used to.
That’s why it’s important to make time for sex. If you know you’ve saved time for it, it will make the sex rewarding and something you simply made time for. Nobody wants to feel rushed during sex; it should be something you should be able to take the time to enjoy, otherwise you won’t want it.
11. Pay Attention to Your Mental Health in Order to Improve Your Libido.
If you find you’re losing interest in things you once had interest in, for example sex, that’s when you know something is mentally wrong. A large percentage of people who have low libido, in fact, also may have clinical depression.
Be sure to check with a doctor to find out a solution if you do believe you have depression, but also know that it’s completely normal for anyone to have periods where they’re unhappy. It’s not uncommon for someone who’s depressed to have little to no sex drive.
Solutions for temporary sadness or depression include writing in a journal or personal blog about how you feel, talking to your partner, or receiving professional counseling. If you don’t receive help or at least try to help yourself, things will worsen, and your sex life will be even less desirable than ever before.
12. Boost Your Self-Confidence Level to Boost Your Sex Drive.
If you don’t feel sexy, neither will the act of sex itself. How you feel about the way you look directly impacts your level of libido and how you will perform in bed. The best thing you can do to increase your sex drive is to also increase your level of confidence.
Ignore your flaws, learn to love your flaws, or even work on your flaws first and foremost. You can also get your hair cut or styled, or simply wear something sexy that makes you feel good about yourself. A positive change makes all the difference and can even make you feel more confident in the way you look. That way, you’ll be excited and ready for sex in no time.
13. Get Plenty of Sleep to Increase Your Libido Naturally.
Getting enough sleep at night is a simple, yet important factor that can boost your libido. Those who don’t get enough sleep are not only too tired for sex, they’re also not as appealed by it. The less sleep you get, the more likely you are to be irritated, testy, and short-tempered, all moods that are not fit for a romantic rendezvous in the bedroom.
Everybody is different, but getting around eight hours of sleep per night is typically ideal to function for a long, busy. A good night’s rest overall contributes to a better mood, more energy to save for sex, and even a stronger sex drive, considering you’ll be in a more positive mood and so will your body.
14. Increase Your Physical Bond With Your Partner and Your Libido Will Follow.
It’s not always about keeping your mood in check; sometimes simple physical touch is what you really need to get into the mood for sex, and we’re not talking about sexual touches either. Physical bonds within relationships are far more important than we think, especially when it comes to your sex drive.
A study from Indiana University’s Kinsley Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction found that both men and women had a higher sex drive when their partner kissed, cuddled, hugged and preformed other non-sexual touches to each other in comparison to couples who rarely did those things.
If you’re suffering from a low libido, pay attention to how you and your partner physically bond. If there a lack of touching in your relationship, perhaps this method would help increase your sex drive. If you and your partner already physically bond a lot, but your sex drive is still low, that’s how you know that your lack of desire has nothing to do with a lack of physical touch.
The great thing about having a physical bond with your partner, though, is that it also decreases stress. Both stress and a lack of physical touch can cause a low libido, but if you do have a strong physical connection, it solves a lot of problems including a lack of sexual desire.
15. Try Taking Vitamins or Supplements to Restore Your Libido.
There are medications out there that increase your sex drive, though it’s much safer and perhaps more likely to be effective if you try vitamins or supplements instead. Iron and maca root are believed to help increase a woman’s sex drive, whereas L-arginine and niacin are said to increase a man’s sex drive.
Vitamins, of course, are also great to help with the specific things that are keeping you from maintaining a strong sex drive, for example, stress and anxiety. Be sure, though, to do research on various herbs, vitamins, or supplements before taking them and assuming they’ll work for you or won’t have a negative effect on you; everyone is different.
Be smart by talking to your doctor about your nutrition. They may even want to test you for a lack of certain vitamins and minerals, which can help you feel better overall.
16. Get Counseling For an Objective View and Helpful Tips.
If you still aren’t completely sure why your sex drive is out of whack, you may consider getting counseling. Yes, there are sex counselors or therapists out there that deal with issues like this. Your counselor may be able to figure out what’s holding you back and give you personal recommendations for your specific case.
If your lack of libido has a negative impact on your relationship, perhaps couples therapy would be the best option. That way, your therapist can see how the relationship may have a direct affect your libido and help to find the best solutions for you and your partner.
Important Things to Remember
It’s always hard to suffer from a decreased sex drive, but these 16 tips are sure to improve your libido and revive your sex life. Symptoms of a sinking libido range from a hormone imbalance to a low body image. Sometimes our low libido is a normal part of life, but other times it’s much more complex than that.
When we’re going through low points in life, are dealing with a lot of stress, or simply have a really busy schedule, it can be hard to keep up with our sex lives. There are though, many solutions ranging from counseling to increasing your and your partner’s physical bonds.
No matter which methods you choose to help increase your libido, there definitely are solutions out there for everyone. A low sex drive is never fun for either partner, but with enough patience and dedication, you can revive your sex live in a short matter of time.