Sexual desire is defined as an interest or a motivational state a person experiences or feels towards sexual objects or activities.
In addition, it is also defined as a need, a drive or a wish to look for sexual objects or engage in sexual activities. In this regard, understanding female sex desire means we must familiarize ourselves with the concepts of arousal and orgasm.
Sexual Arousal and Orgasm
The very first question that we must ask is, what happens to our bodies when sexual desire or interest is at its peak? This question is very important for several reasons. These reasons are:
- To understand how your body works, including its sexual parts. This makes you comfortable with the way the body responds as you get sexually excited. Furthermore, knowing what is normal and not, helps you identify when to call for medical assistance or help.
- Knowing what happens to your partner’s body when he gets sexually excited will give you an idea on how his body responds. Understanding how both your and your partner’s body responds to sexual stimuli is a vital component for a mutually pleasurable and satisfying sexual experience and relationship.
- It all begins with the most powerful organ of the body, the brain. It responds to all the sexy thoughts or images, having a feeling of affection or closeness towards a partner or the touch of a partner that sends signals to the rest of the body, especially your genital area. However, this is not the only manifestation of sexual arousal. The different responses may also include the following:
- Increase blood flow towards the genital area. For both men and women, the biological response of the body towards sexual stimuli is an increase in blood flowing towards the genital areas. This causes the swelling and hardening of the clitoris, the erectile tissue of the female genitalia. On the other hand, in males, it causes erection and hardening of the penis.
- Increase blood pressure, tachycardia and tachypnea. Sexual arousal also causes both men and women to have increased blood pressure.
- Moreover, it also causes the heart to beat faster, which is called tachycardia, and breathing to become rapid, or tachypnea.
Understanding Female Sex Desire: The Specifics
Although the key processes of orgasm and arousal in men and women are similar, the specific occurrences vary. This is because men and women have dissimilar reproductive organs. The key in understanding female sex desire, is knowing how it happens and what triggers the arousal. In females, the following happens when sexual arousal is triggered in the brain:
- The vagina becomes lubricated with fluid seeping from the vaginal walls. This is why women have slippery and sticky secretions during ovulation. The consistency of the discharge is compared to that of a raw egg whites. This is secreted by the vagina to lubricate the vaginal walls.
- The clitoris slightly swells and hardens. This results from the increase in blood flowing to the female genitalia. Furthermore, it is for this very occurrence that the clitoris becomes more visible and sensitive to touch.
- The outer third of the vagina tightens, making the opening smaller. This happens as sexual arousal continues to increase and increase.
- The clitoris retracts. This happens as a woman gets closer and closer to having an orgasm. Furthermore, it is during this time that the clitoris becomes a little less visible.
Moreover, to achieve orgasm, a woman may need to stimulate the clitoris. Orgasm takes a series of about three to 15 muscle contractions around the vagina. The contractions follow a certain pattern where the first few ones are more intense.
They are about a second apart from one another. These contractions become weaker and farther apart as they come to an end. In addition, a woman’s uterine and anal muscles may also rhythmically contract together with the vaginal muscles.
Speed of Sexual Response in Men and Women
As we have discussed earlier, the process of arousal and orgasm in men and women follow a similar pattern. However, it must be kept in mind that because there are specific occurrences that only take place in males or females only. Their sexual responses towards arousal and orgasm may vary.
The Differences In Response Include:
- It takes more time for women to become aroused than men. This is important for both men and women to know in order to understand the opposite sex. Men, especially, should understand that it would take longer for a woman to get aroused than them. In this view, expectations become realistic.
- Sexual arousal is individualized. It does not mean that the pace of sexual arousal among all women is neither the same, nor is it with men. Sexual arousal is unique per individual. It varies from one person to another; even in a homogenous relationship sexual arousal may still vary.
Your ability to become aroused and achieve orgasm vary from day to day. There are a lot of factors that affect a person’s ability to be sexually aroused and achieve orgasm.
Some of the factors include stress, fatigue and vices like cigarette smoking and alcohol consumption. More importantly, your mood or feelings towards your partner can affect your libido.
Understanding female sex desire can be tough and perplexing. However, it is the key for you to understand and know yourself in the sexual aspects of your life. Moreover, it is also important for you and your partner to understand the processes each one of you undergoes during sexual arousal and orgasm. This way, both of you can have realistic expectations leading to a more pleasurable sexual experience.